From the outside, my drinking looked normal. I didn’t drink every day. When I drank socially, I had no problem stopping after a few drinks. I wasn’t angry, sad or sloppy when I drank. I looked forward to a glass of wine after work, or while cooking dinner.

But sometimes it was different. Every once in a while, I would binge drink with the intention of getting drunk. It felt compulsive and I didn’t understand my behavior. But I knew it was really unhealthy. By the time I turned 35, my relationship with alcohol was more complicated than ever. I was full of shame and guilt and felt very alone.

And yet, giving up alcohol entirely terrified me. It turned out to be the best decision of my life! I discovered the term “gray area drinking,” on a Ted Talk, which led me to discover that Alcohol Use Disorder is not always black and white.

This discovery marked the beginning of my sober-curious journey, that would eventually lead me to where I am today: living euphorically on “the Pink Cloud” of alcohol-freedom that just gets stronger with each passing month!