7 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Quit Drinking

This post is dedicated to my best friend, Jessica. Welcome to the good life, sis!

1. It’s a leap of faith, and the only way to find out how good you can feel without alcohol is to give it up completely for an extended period of time. (A month or two isn’t long enough)

If you’re sober curious, you’ve probably heard people who are alcohol-free talk about how amazing they feel, and I know what you’re thinking.

“I feel fine.” “I feel good.” “I sleep just fine.” “Alcohol is not causing me any negative effects.” “I am different.”

I know because I had all of those thoughts too. I was a gray area drinker, meaning my drinking wasn’t causing me any big consequences. But here’s the harsh truth:

You aren’t different. Alcohol in any quantity is a neurotoxin that affects all human brains similarly, regardless of whether you become addicted to it or not.

People who don’t drink at all feel better than people who do. It is that simple. (This is backed by science, not personal opinion.)

However… it’s an absolute leap of faith, and the only way to find out how good you can feel without alcohol is to give it up entirely for an extended period of time.

I believe 100 days is enough time to begin to really see a difference, but of course each person is different. Personally I noticed a huge shift at the 3 month mark. And then again at the 6 month mark. I am now almost 1 year alcohol-free and it just keeps getting better all the time. It’s incredible.

My coach, Megan said 3 months was when the magic started for her too. Anything less and you will still be experiencing what it feels like to withdrawal/detox from alcohol, even if you drank very little before the break.

2. Giving up alcohol is not easy at first, in fact it can be very hard… but it is absolutely worth it

I loved drinking and could never imagine giving it up entirely. I had no clue how much better my life would become in every single way after releasing alcohol for an extended period of time. Now I wouldn’t trade my alcohol-free life for anything, not even millions of dollars. You simply cannot put a price on genuine happiness, living in alignment and optimal health.

If you have tried to quit before or taken breaks and felt like it was just too hard, I promise you, it gets so much easier. More on that below…

3. Becoming alcohol-free when you are used to drinking requires practice; not a whole new life!

Were you good at riding a bike the first time you tried? Of course not. It also takes time to learn a new musical instrument. Developing any new skill requires practice.

Living an alcohol-free lifestyle will feel awkward at first, if you are used to drinking. But you can do it, and it will become natural to you with practice. And then it will become so easy, you won’t even think about it. Eventually you become a person who doesn’t drink or even think about alcohol. And it is the ultimate freedom!

How does one practice an alcohol-free lifestyle? The answer is simple, but this is where a lot of people get it wrong.

Continue living your life, just remove alcohol. You can do it; you are stronger than you think.

Do not stay at home like a hermit. Do the things you normally would do, just remove alcohol.

If this sounds impossible, imagine what it would be like if you were not drinking because you were pregnant. You wouldn’t miss every get-together, holiday party, or date night, would you? No, you would still go and not drink, and (hopefully) excuse yourself when you’re tired of being there. Treat “alcohol-freedom practice” the same way you would a pregnancy.

When you go out to eat, order a mocktail, alcohol-free beer or a soft drink. Spend time with loved ones, just make sure to surround yourself with company who will support you in not drinking. (It’s okay to take a break from certain people until you get your footing right.) Go to concerts, sporting events, karaoke, girls weekends, the comedy club.

The only thing you have to change is not drinking alcohol; you do not need to sit at home bored, or overhaul your entire life.

4. You will not experience urges or cravings forever, and they may disappear a lot sooner than you think

I assumed after I quit drinking that I would still want to drink for a long time, simply because I drank for so many years. And I thought I had further evidence to back this theory up, because when I was cutting back/moderating, my desire to drink grew even stronger.

However, once I made the firm decision to quit alcohol and release it from my life entirely, my irritating urges / cravings began to subside. Within a matter of just a few months my brain learned that alcohol was never going to be an option, so it simply stopped asking for it. Isn’t that amazing?!

5. It is absolutely possible to have no desire for alcohol whatsoever; Alcohol-free people are not lying or exaggerating!

It’s a bit embarrassing to admit this now, but I simply did not believe alcohol-free influencers who said they have no desire to drink. I figured they must be exaggerating, and what they really meant was that their life is more functional without alcohol. Or perhaps they meant that when compared to being in active addiction, not drinking felt so much better. I really thought on some level, they must still want to drink, just a little. How could they not?!

And then something wild happened. I became one of those people.

How?

First I made the decision to give true alcohol-freedom a real shot. I had given alcohol a million chances, and now I was going to try something new. I stopped trying to cut back/moderate, and went all on in my decision.

I taught myself everything there is to know about what alcohol is, what it does, and how it works.

I practiced abstaining from alcohol while still living my life, to see if I could still have fun without it. Oh my god, I could!!!

The things I enjoyed while drinking were actually so much better when I experienced them fully present, without a buzz. You cannot numb the bad without also numbing the good. Read that as many times as you need to!

I discovered the euphoria of natural dopamine, the way we were meant to experience it. Simple pleasures like hugging a close friend, spending time in nature, deep conversations, belly laughing, live music without a buzz, and making love.

We are capable of feeling so much love, gratitude and beauty in this life, but alcohol (a depressant) robs us of experiencing it fully. Again, this is a leap of faith. I had no idea I wan’t feeling the full spectrum of positive emotions until I saw for myself through an extended break.

I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say I no longer have any desire to drink. Not even on the best days, or the worst days. I see alcohol (also known as ethanol) for what it is - a sneaky fake friend, a well-marketed wolf in sheep’s clothing. Gross, no thanks!

6. There is a learning curve while you get comfortable doing all the things you used to do while drinking, without alcohol. But once you get there, the AHA moment you’ll experience is the best feeling in the world

Remember how much fun you had as a kid, before alcohol entered your life? Remember how hard you would laugh and how weird you would act?

Welcome to alcohol-freedom, friend!

Things like laughing hysterically with your gay boyfriend, acting completely weird and silly, playing a hilarious board game, doing bad impersonations, dancing your ass off, singing at the top of your lungs, date night at a fancy restaurant, wearing a bold outfit, playing an instrument, painting or drawing, making new friends, or even having wild sex…

None of these things are made better by an alcoholic beverage. They are inherently fun, and more importantly, fun comes from within us. We do not need a substance to access it. We just have to learn how to access it without a drink. (Go back to #3 on How to Practice!)

I spent the better part of 20 years giving alcohol (a toxic, carcinogenic drug) all the credit for the awesomeness that is ME, Gretchen.

Only through releasing alcohol completely, I discovered that I am capable of accessing ALL the FUN and meaning that life has to offer. And that is the most empowering feeling I’ve ever known. 

7. You don’t have to do it alone

I spent several years trying to “DIY” this issue. I read all the books, listened to the podcasts, downloaded the apps.. and yet, I was still stuck.

There are so many options when it comes to quitting drinking, and everyone should do what’s the best fit for them. Alcoholics Anonymous is of course the most well-known recovery program. I personally prefer the ideas presented in the Smart Recovery program, although I have never worked a program or been to an in-person meeting myself.

Meetings just didn’t feel like the right fit for me, but I knew I needed support. I was seeking a mentor/cheerleader who understood addiction, even though I was floating around on the gray area part of the spectrum, with a drinking problem that appeared to be there sometimes, and sometimes not. I decided to work one on one with an alcohol-free coach.

Working with my coach made all the difference in the world. It’s as simple as having someone who has been through what you’re going through, who truly gets it, and who will never judge you. Plus, a jar simply cannot read its own label.

Are you interested in changing your relationship with alcohol? I am here to help you figure it out without judgment. Click here to start the process.

Rooting for you always,
Coach Gretchen
xx