Why taking a break from drinking feels boring, and what to do about it

Have you recently cut back or quit drinking, or perhaps on a break from alcohol… and feel like life is beyond boring and everything is dull? Friend, I’ve been there!

Before you decide this whole not-drinking-thing is just not for you and pour yourself a mega pint of wine, let’s talk about it.

Understand What’s Happening

The first step to solving a problem like this is understanding what’s happening and why.

Drinking alcohol releases an artificial spike in dopamine that’s above and beyond normal levels released during other joyful activities. This means that over time, activities that were once fun sober (like riding a bike) can start to feel boring, when compared to drinking.

While of course full blown alcoholism isn’t the fate of everyone who drinks, it has been reasonably argued that with enough use, anyone is at risk of becoming addicted to alcohol, for this exact reason (among others.) Losing interest in other passions and activities is a sign of addiction. If you notice this has begun happening to you or someone close to you, take notice. You might especially benefit from taking a break!

There’s good news though. After a period of abstinence from alcohol, brain chemistry rebalances itself and sober activities become much more enjoyable again. (This happened for me after about 6 weeks sober!)

Also, I have more patience and energy now to pursue broader interests, than I did as a drinker. All of these changes have resulted in never feeling bored. Which is so awesome, because boredom used to be one of my biggest triggers to drink!

When I was a drinker, not only was I easily bored, but I had zero tolerance for boredom. Now as a non-drinker, I rarely experience boredom at all. Small everyday activities, like cooking dinner, that at one point would have been pretty dull without a glass of wine, now fill my cup again (pun intended, hehe!)

Withdrawal

It’s normal to experience a variety of withdrawal symptoms, even if you weren’t an “alcoholic” and didn’t drink every day. I don’t feel this is talked about nearly enough!

When I was first sober, I would describe some of the withdrawal symptoms I was experiencing to my boyfriend (like crying all the time), and he was so confused by it. He didn’t realize that you go through withdrawal even if you just drink socially on the weekends, or stick to just one or two drinks in the evening. Full sobriety still sends your brain into a wild new place.

Feeling bored and/or disappointed OFTEN is one of these withdrawal symptoms, FOR SURE.

The good news? I promise you, it’s temporary. If you’re newly sober or taking a break from drinking and feel fucking ick, stick with it. That’s what withdrawal feels like, not sobriety. 

Goodbye triggers, hello glimmers!

As you practice not drinking, it gets easier. Over time, triggers become less and less strong. Eventually they just go away. I am never triggered to drink anymore. Even when I have a no good, really bad, terrible day… or a really GREAT day, that in the past I would have celebrated by drinking.

And what’s even more awesome than saying goodbye to triggers is saying hello to glimmers. You can expect them about a month or more into alcohol-abstinence.

What is a glimmer? These are unexpected moments of joy and gratitude that are activated by something small but delightful—like a bird singing or noticing a beautiful flower on a walk. They make you feel alive and present.

What to do when you feel bored

• Accept that it is just fine to be bored sometimes. (This was a huge takeaway from therapy for me!) Boredom is a normal part of life, not a problem that needs to be solved with a drink. You may also find it helpful to remind yourself that you will feel less bored soon… if you stick with abstaining from alcohol, because your brain chemistry will rebalance and create more dopamine naturally.

• Stay busy, but don’t burn yourself out. If you catch yourself replacing drinking with working long hours, pump the breaks.

• Implement new self-care practices, such as exercise, walking or hiking outside, a skincare routine, reading, journaling, therapy, yoga, stretching, or meditation.

• Revisit old hobbies or develop new ones. If you can’t think of anything you’d like to do, take a trip to Michael’s or another craft store to look for inspiration.

• Go shopping! Shopping/window shopping can be a very fun distraction, just don’t replace drinking with a spending addiction. I recommend in-person shopping rather than online shopping in this context, because it takes up more time and is less addictive. When I first quit drinking, I spent a lot of time browsing Home Goods, Marshalls and TJ Maxx for fun. I didn’t spend very much money, but it was a good way to pass the time and get a healthier little dopamine boost.

• Distract yourself for 20 minutes. Urges on average last about 20 to 30 minutes, this is universal for everyone. Download CandyCrush, Tetris, Words With Friends or another game you can play on your phone. Do a 20 minute skincare routine, paint your nails, or go for a 20 minute walk. See if the urge passes by the time you’re done!

• Reconnect with people / places / activities that you may have placed on the back burned when you were drinking. Call your Mom! :)

• Develop a useful new skill, such as cooking, gardening or even learning a new language. I am growing my own vegetables this fall and I am OBSESSED!

• Take a class. Pick something you are excited to try! Check out your local community college, art studios, fitness studios and the library to see what classes are offered to adults in your area. I took beginner ballet for adults earlier this year, and watercolor, highly recommend both!

• Read some Quit Lit. Here’s a link to some of my favorite books about sobriety.

• Give it time. For me it took about 6 weeks of abstinence from alcohol for my brain to stop “asking” for the false dopamine spike (in the form of urges). But please know, that was several years into my sober curious journey. For each person, it will be different.
  I found it helpful to remind myself of this piece of advice from my therapist: “The feeling you will have when you finally are in control of the thing that was controlling you, is the best feeling on earth.” No lies told.
  

Rooting for you always,
Gretchen

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