27 Reasons I'm Happier Alcohol-Free
I wrote this post shortly after hitting 100 days alcohol-free. I now have over a year of abstinence under my belt and am experiencing all of these benefits more than ever!
1. I’m never bored.
Drinking alcohol releases an artificial spike in dopamine that’s above and beyond normal levels released during other joyful activities. This means that over time, activities that were once fun sober (like riding a bike) start to feel boring, when compared to drinking.
However, after a period of abstinence from alcohol, brain chemistry rebalances itself and sober activities become much more enjoyable again. (This happened for me after about 6 weeks!) Also, I have more patience and energy now to pursue broader interests, than I did as a drinker. All of these changes have resulted in never feeling bored. Which is so awesome, because boredom used to be one of my biggest triggers to drink!
2. My confidence has skyrocketed.
This is the result of a few things…
• Keeping a BIG promise I made to myself creates true confidence
• Sober me lives in alignment 100% of the time
• I never make decisions after a few drinks that I regret later (this applies to dating, work, friendships, family, and more)
• My brain now releases reduced baseline cortisol levels - which means I experience little to no anxiety, including social anxiety!
• The pride that comes with overcoming a complicated relationship with an addictive substance is next level
• My physical appearance has improved in unexpected ways (more on that below)
3. I no longer have chronic anxiety.
This reason alone is enough to keep me from going back to drinking. I suffered from anxiety that would ebb and flow my whole adult life, until I started taking 2+ weeks off at a time from drinking. Here’s a blog post I wrote that talks about this in more detail.
4. It has gotten much easier for me to say NO to anything that isn’t a hard YES!
This one is so important, because when you say no to something you don’t truly want (like a “work opportunity” that doesn’t feel like an opportunity, or an invitation to a party you have no interest in going to), you are freeing up time and energy to say YES to the people, places and things that actually light you up.
When you practice saying “no thanks” to a drink over and over, you get a lot better at saying no!
5. I am more present.
Two things are at play here:
1. I’m never hungover. Let’s face it: it’s impossible to be present when you have a dull headache or your stomach feels off, and…
2. I am never looking forward to a later part of the day or week when alcohol will be available / it will become appropriate to drink. There’s nothing wrong with looking forward to a future event, but daydreaming of five o’clock or Friday when the wine will be flowing, is a sure-fire way to miss whatever beauty may exist in the moment you are currently in.
6. My relationships have improved.
It is so much easier to show up as a great friend, daughter, dog mom, etc. when you are feeling like your best self. My relationships have certainly reflected that!
7. I have a lot more time available.
I didn’t realize how much time I gave alcohol before I quit. Which is wild because I value my time above all else. It’s not just the time you spend drinking that you get back, but also the time you spend procuring alcohol and the time you spend on the mend after a big night of drinking.
8. Mental clarity and memory.
What brain fog?! The mental clarity that comes with full abstinence from alcohol is hard to describe without experiencing it for yourself.
What’s even more impressive is how much better my memory has gotten. I didn’t feel forgetful before, but the difference is remarkable. I’m constantly taking notes for things, then realizing later I didn’t need to because it’s all saved perfectly to the hard drive in my head.
9. I have more empathy.
You might think someone who no longer drinks would look down on those who do, but I have found the opposite to be true. I actually feel more empathy for other people in general, and feel compelled to help those who are struggling. Hence, starting the journey to becoming an ICF certified life coach!
10. People and situations that used to get under my skin don’t bother me as much.
I think this one is tied to being happier, calmer and more confident. Situations that in the past would have really irked me (like an annoying email) no longer occupy as much space in my mind. If someone is irritating, I am better at tuning them out rather than being affected by their energy.
11. I look 5-10 years younger
I look like a different person. I dropped 15 pounds gradually and without trying after about 6 months alcohol-free. My hair is longer than it’s ever been. I no longer have permanent dark circles under my eyes. My face used to be puffy and now it’s slim. Peep my Instagram for some before/afters to see for yourself!
12. I’m in the best physical shape of my life. I lost 15 lbs without trying. My workouts are so much more fun and easier.
In additional to losing weight, I have more visible muscle definition, especially in my arms and abdomen. Not only does alcohol contain a ton of empty calories, but regular drinking prevents your body from absorbing nutrients, which can leave you feeling hungry. Also, recent studies suggest consuming alcohol, especially during the recovery window, may have the potential of suppressing muscle growth by reducing a person’s rate of muscle protein synthesis. My “problem areas” and that last stubborn 15 pounds that I thought were genetic turned out to be inflammation caused by alcohol. Wow!
13. When I get upset, angry or sad, I know my emotions are genuine, rather than fueled by alcohol.
I wasn’t typically an angry or sad drinker, but I think we all have our moments. It’s nice to know your feelings are always 100% your own.
14. I have become much less of a people pleaser, and better at putting my own needs first.
A ripple effect of being more confident and getting better at saying no.
15. I have more ambition to go after much bigger goals with confidence, because I have already achieved something so big.
Like starting this new life coaching business!!
16. I am the most consistent I’ve ever been.
It’s so much easier to stay consistent when you feel 100% most of the time. And let’s face it, consistency is the most important thing when it comes to building healthy habits or releasing unhelpful ones. On the flip side, when I do miss something important (like a workout) it’s because I am listening to my body—not nursing a hangover.
17. My general outlook on life is much more positive. I feel so much more optimistic about my future.
Once again, most likely the result of reduced baseline cortisol levels. Also it helps that I no longer worry about my health or longevity.
18. I don’t worry about my drinking or my health anymore.
It may sound ridiculous for someone who is 36 years old, in shape and living a healthy lifestyle to be worried about their health, or get anxiety before going to the doctor. But when your weekly drink count is well above the CDC guidelines for “low-risk” alcohol consumption (it’s 7 drinks for women and 14 for men, by the way) AND you know that the safest amount of alcohol is none, AND you are fully aware that drinking causes 15 types of cancer, high blood pressure, heart disease, liver disease, stroke, and more… it’s hard to go into annual checkups and cancer screenings and be all easy breezy.
Since I quit drinking I have zero concerns about my health, or even think about my lifespan. It’s crazy that this used to give me anxiety on the regular.
19. I am living in complete alignment with my values (and it feels amazing!)
I am highly self-educated on alcohol and its negative effects. Since being physically and mentally healthy is so important to me, it was impossible for me to live in alignment while also regularly drinking alcohol—and over the CDC “low risk” guidelines, as I mentioned already. I was essentially doing something that went against everything I believed in. And then paying for it in the form of anxiety. This is why I often refer to my past drinking as a self-sabotaging behavior.
20. I have developed new passions that I get more out of than drinking.
Gardening / growing my own vegetables and herbs has become a very fulfilling passion of mine this year. I also started taking watercolor classes, and am excited to discover even more new hobbies (as if I don’t already have enough) in the fall.
21. I love my alone time because I have become my own best friend.
This ties into no longer being bored, and having more confidence and improved self-esteem. I love spending time with me! It also takes pressure off of my other relationships, and reduces the pressure to meet new people (I moved recently), because I know I am just fine hanging out by myself.
22. It takes a lot to overwhelm me.
Overwhelm used to be a nasty feeling I experienced a lot. Having more than 2 things on my to-do list could send me into a panic. That is no longer the case. I just take my days one or two hours at a time, and use productivity strategies (like time batching) to make sure nothing important slips through the cracks.
23. I have complete freedom from alcohol; it no longer takes up any mental space.
I used to spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME thinking about drinking, but not in the way you might imagine. I wasn’t obsessing over alcohol, desperate for my next drop, the way movies portray addiction.
It was the mental gymnastics of trying to get it just right all the time. (This ties into my perfectionism.)
My internal dialogue of “Should I have a drink tonight, or should I not drink?” “Should I limit myself to 1? Or would 2 be okay?” “I haven’t had a drink in 2 weeks, so it’s okay if I let my hair down at the Black Tie Event this weekend…” and the worst of them all…. “I deserve it.”
THIS, my friend, is why sobriety is a much happier place for me than moderation was. Imagine that script playing out in your head multiple times a week, or even multiple times a day. I was so fucking over it!!!!
24. I feel more connected to and in tune with my body.
I am more attuned to and present in my physical body. This means activities like exercise, hiking, cuddling and especially sex are much more fulfilling. Body and mind working together in unison is a beautiful thing.
25. I have complete faith in my intuition to guide me in the right direction.
This applies to so many areas of life—from being an Life Coach and entrepreneur, to managing my my important relationships, to eating intuitively. This is hard to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it first hand, but when we stop drinking alcohol (a depressant and neurotoxin), for an extended period of time, our brains are able to fire on all cylinders. This unlocks our intuition on a whole new level. It’s so awesome.
26. I have gotten better at staying in touch with people and nurturing long term/long distance friendships.
This one comes down to having more time, more energy, and more interest in meaningful connections over superficial ones. For example, in the past I would have gone to a bar with a friend on a Saturday and made “friends” for the night with some strangers. Now I prefer to Facetime with my friend Mandie I’ve known since 7th grade who lives in Australia, or call my friend Teny in San Diego and talk (and die laughing) for 2 hours about actual real life stuff. It requires a bit more coordinating, but that’s also easier to do when you’re always sober.
27. Dating, Romance and Sex
Before I became alcohol-free, it was VERY hard for me to imagine going on a first date, falling in love or having sex with someone for the first time without “liquid courage.” …Until I did it.
Now it’s clear that dating, falling in love and yes, even having sex… is so much more fulfilling without any alcohol in the mix. Let’s break it down.
Alcohol can create a false sense of connection or chemistry (aka a “spark”), especially on a first date.
Consider this… if two people have even just decent social skills, and you add a few drinks to the equation, it will not be hard for them to find things to talk about for a couple hours and have a good time. But is this a real connection, or just a pair of strangers getting buzzed together? Especially if there’s physical attraction at play, the waters can become muddy real quick.
I have been on at least two first dates over the years where the following happened: I’d meet up with a guy at a bar and we’d have a few alcoholic beverages. The conversation would flow effortlessly, we would laugh a lot, maybe even share a kiss. But then one of two things would happen. Either there would be no follow through for a second date, or a second date would happen and the energy would be different.. almost as if we were starting from scratch.
This did not happen to me after I re-entered the dating scene as a non-drinker. Why?
I believe we attract better potential partners as non-drinkers. At the very least, you won’t attract fuckboys or alcoholics.
9/10 times, a non-drinker won’t attract dates who are just looking for a casual situationship or a one night stand. Let’s be real - drinking culture and hookup culture go hand in hand. People are more likely to hook up on a first date when there’s alcohol involved. If that’s specifically what someone is looking for, they will probably not pursue a non-drinker.
According to an article from alcohol.org, “Just 10 percent of drink-free dates ended in sex, compared to 51 percent when five or more drinks were imbibed.” Source
On the other hand. If someone is looking for a serious relationship, and alcohol isn’t a big priority in their life, they won’t be turned off by you being a non-drinker, even if they themself drink. (Read that again if you need to!)
9/10 times, you won’t attract anyone with alcohol use disorder. I can say this from my own experience. When alcohol was important in my life, dating someone sober was really intimidating to me. It was like holding up a mirror to my own psychological dependence on alcohol.
A dating profile (I recommend Hinge, by the way!) that shows non-drinker will
Here’s what happens when you date without alcohol:
The conversations will tend to lean more serious, but not in a bad way. You will be able to tell if your date is actually funny and if you enjoy their sense of humor. People who are drinking are more likely to make small talk or joke around than get down to the nitty gritty of what’s important to them
Yes, going on a first date without any alcohol is nerve-wracking if you are used to drinking on dates, but that’s okay! The initial awkwardness doesn’t last very long. And it is OKAY to feel nervous sometimes. It’s part of being human and living life in full HD.
Dating sober makes it much easier to take things slow.
Are you sick of worrying about your drinking, and ready to change your relationship with alcohol? I am here to help you figure it out.
Rooting for you always,
Gretchen Kamp
5X Certified Life Coach
Mindset | Habits | Alcohol Freedom | ADHD | Success
I’m Gretchen Kamp.
I’m a 5X-Certified Life Coach, specializing in Mindset, Alcohol Freedom, Habits and ADHD. My own personal development journey sparked the inspiration for my online community, The Pink Cloud Collective. Just a few years ago I was unfulfilled, anxious and using wine to cope with life’s challenges. Then one day I decided I had enough.
I got support, did “the work” and learned better life-navigation skills. I can now proudly say that I am confident, alcohol-free and living each day in alignment. For the first time in my life, I truly love myself exactly as I am. It is absolutely possible for you too.