Harness the Power of Habits to Drink Less

What you need to know about habits

I’ve been on a personal growth, health and wellness journey for years. Quitting alcohol was actually the final puzzle piece to fall into place, not the catalyst for change.

If there’s one takeaway from all this personal development work I’ve done, it’s that habits are paramount.

Not motivation, discipline, or willpower — those are fleeting and honestly, useless as a long term strategy. Your habits are the key to making transformational, lasting changes.

Here’s why:

1. Habits determine what you will do (and not do) automatically and consistently.
   
   You may be bursting with motivation to start a new workout regimen today… but tomorrow, you may be tired, PMS-ing or in a fight with your dude, and decide you just don’t care. On the other hand, once a habit is formed, it becomes so second nature that breaking it actually feels uncomfortable.
   
   
   

2. Over time, your habits shape your identity.
   
   I was not blessed with the gifts of athleticism or robust energy. I hated P.E. so much in school, it was the only class I remember getting in trouble ...for refusing to participate.
   
   Fast forward 20 years.

   
   I work out five days a week. I’m strong and lean and proud of my body. The ability to move and break a sweat is a privilege that I am deeply grateful for. “Gym Bunny” is one of my identities, right up there with entrepreneur and designer.
   
   That shift was not by chance. It happened because I decided that my health and fitness are important to me, so I made exercise a habit in my twenties. It sucked at first, until one day it didn’t (not unlike sobriety!)
   
   

   When you are intentional and strategic with your habits, you can become whoever you want to be. How awesome is that?!

How to use habits to drink less …or not at all

First, I must give credit where credit is due. I read Atomic Habits by James Clear several years ago, and highly recommend this book. However, if you’re not a big reader, or you just don’t have time for 306 pages, this is really all you need to know.

If you want to form a new habit, follow these 4 “laws”:

1. Make it obvious
2. Make it attractive
3. Make it easy
4. Make it satisfying

On the contrary, if you want to unlearn (break) a habit, apply the same rules in reverse.

Let’s see what that looks like in the context of cutting back or quitting drinking.

1. The opposite of “Make it obvious” is “Make it invisible.”

This is simple. Don’t keep alcohol in your home.

If you have a stash, give it away to someone you hate (just kidding!).. or you could pour it down the drain for dramatic effect, like Moira in Schitt’s Creek.

If you have a special collection and you’re just taking a break to see what’s up, ask someone you trust to store it for you.

If you live with someone who drinks, this can be awkward but “out of sight, out of mind” goes a long way. If your partner or roommate keeps their booze visible in a common area, ask them kindly to put it away in a cabinet or the freezer. (Better yet: tell them to hide it from you!)

Stock your kitchen with fun alcohol-free beverages instead, like flavored seltzers, non-alcoholic beer and wine, teas and juices. I also love stevia lemonade and the occasional Diet Coke! There is nothing wrong with using a special beverage to signal  to your brain that the work day is over and relaxation can begin; it doesn’t have to contain ethanol to be a treat.

You may also find it helpful to remove other reminders of drinking, also known as cues. This may be your favorite wine glass or special bottle opener. You don’t have to get rid of them forever, just put them somewhere out of sight.

No need to be haunted by a sad, empty bar. If you have a designated area for alcohol, creatively repurpose it as something else for the time being. A coffee or tea bar would be cute, but I really love the idea of swapping a bar cart for a chair to create a little reading nook. The point is to change your environment to reflect your new identity (that of a non-drinker) while making any and all reminders of your old habit invisible.

2. The opposite of “Make it attractive” is “Make it unattractive.”

This is where mindset shifts and self-education come into play. Learn everything there is to know about how awful alcohol is for your mind and body. (The good news is, your body and mind have incredible healing power that begins as soon as you stop!)

Ruin alcohol for yourself. Two books I recommend for this are Alcohol Explained by William Porter, and This Naked Mind by Annie Grace.

Dip your toes in the sober community. Remember what I said about habits shaping your identity? Being part of an incredibly kind and supportive community of non-drinkers makes drinking far less attractive. You are not in this alone!

This does NOT mean you have to attend recovery meetings. Subscribe to some sober podcasts. My favorites are Euphoric The Podcast, The Happiest Sober Podcast and Hello Someday. Follow some sober accounts on Instagram. My account is @thepinkcloudcollective, and there are countless others.

Subscribing won’t do anything though if you don’t engage. Carve out some time each day (20 minutes will do) to consume this content.

3. The Opposite of “Make it easy” is “Make it difficult.”

Increase friction wherever possible.

Do you drive by a liquor store on your way home from work? Start taking a different route. Is there a wine shop on the path you always walk your dog? Leave your credit card at home so you can’t stop in and make a purchase! (Delete Apple Pay from your phone too!)

Prime your environment for sober fun and relaxation instead of drinking—this way you won’t feel deprived or like something is missing. If your routine is to come home from work and melt into the couch with a glass (or bottle) of wine, plan ahead to provide yourself with other ways to relax. Get a new book you can’t wait to start, or an adult coloring book from Amazon! Put your new activity on the coffee table before you leave for work, so you don’t have to remember later when you’re tired.

And finally, don’t put yourself in situations where you’ll be tempted to drink. Be honest with yourself, and be prepared to decline an invitation or two. Remember you won’t have to do this forever! Just until your old habit (drinking) is broken and your new one (not drinking) has become automatic.

I don’t recommend becoming a recluse or avoiding everyone you’ve ever drank with. If a friend asks you to happy hour, suggest going for coffee, lunch or a hike instead. It’s also okay to take a break from certain people if you’re worried they won’t be supportive of your decision not to drink. You don’t have to decide anything right now about your relationship with them in the long term.

4. The opposite of “Make it satisfying” is make of course… “Make it unsatisfying.”

I want to make it abundantly clear, “make it unsatisfying” does not mean to torment yourself with shame and guilt if you have a slip/relapse.

Cutting back or quitting drinking is hard work for most people, especially in the beginning. I get you because I was you! It’s a habit that we practice hundreds, if not thousand of times, before we start evaluating alcohol’s role in our life. On top of that, alcohol is highly addictive, and our society is obsessed with drinking. So if you are working on changing your relationship with alcohol, please be kind to yourself through the ups and downs. Progress is rarely linear.

Image credit: Navigating Uncertainty

Having said that, here are a few ways to make drinking less satisfying.

Consider taking a break from alcohol instead of trying to moderate.

Drinking alcohol is inherently satisfying for most people (in the moment at least) because of the surge of dopamine your brain releases when alcohol enters your blood stream. Therefore it’s much easier to pass on drinking all together than to have one or two drinks. Not drinking is arguably the best way to make alcohol unsatisfying—because you don’t give it the chance to make you feel satisfied to begin with!

Get an accountability partner, and commit to being honest with them if you do have a slip. Not letting that person down may be reason enough for you to say no!

Reward yourself for sober streaks (I love a trip to the nail salon, a new keychain or a frozen dessert drink from Starbucks with whipped cream.) If you break your streak, you don’t get the treat. Talk about unsatisfying!

Track your alcohol-free days, whether thats with an app (I use one called I Am Sober), or putting a check mark (or a fun sticker!) on a calendar. There are many benefits to tracking, including providing ourself with an honest record of our behavior, being motivated by our own progress and getting a sense of satisfaction from recording another successful instance of your habit. If you’re like me, not getting that check mark is highly unsatisfying.

Conclusion

Now you have all the information on how to utilize habits as a powerful tool to change your own behavior with alcohol, and ultimately, your identity.

Did you find this blog post helpful? Let me know what you think in the comments down below, and make sure to subscribe to my email list for more content like this.

Rooting for you always,

Gretchen