How I Finally Quit Drinking For Good

Note from the author: I want to preface this blog post by saying there is nothing wrong with going to recovery meetings. For anyone struggling with alcohol use disorder, getting sober is what matters the most, not how you did it.

Alcoholics Anonymous and Smart Recovery (a more progressive alternative) are two mainstream organizations that have meetings pretty much everywhere, as well as online. If you’re struggling with your drinking and don’t know where to start, there is no harm in going to a meeting. I know a handful of people who swear by AA, particularly for the sense of community and support. It just didn’t feel like the right fit for me personally.

---

It felt like I had tried everything except recovery meetings to change my relationship with alcohol.

Like what? Moving across the country, “Quit Lit” books, self-hypnosis, meditation, moderation, tracking my drinks (that just made my anxiety worse), making a million rules for myself (and then breaking them), Naltrexone, acupuncture, and an iPhone app called Reframe.

None of this stuff made any real difference. I would have a good week or two where I stuck to my drinking goals, then I’d misstep and feel like I was back to square one. It was exhausting and depressing.

So.. how did I finally quit drinking?

1. I stopped trying to figure it out alone, and worked with an alcohol-free coach

My drinking habit was so confusing to me. Sometimes it felt very problematic, other times I felt like a normal moderate drinker. Usually I could moderate and stick to a drink limit with ease.. other times I just didn’t want to.

My goal when I started working with my coach was to change my relationship with alcohol. I didn’t want to quit drinking completely.. in fact, that sounded like the worst case scenario. I wasn’t sure what that “new relationship” would look like, but I knew I didn’t want to continue drinking the way I was.

I found an amazing coach online named Megan. She inspired me to start my own coaching business so that I can help others the way she helped me. We worked together weekly for two years. She didn’t put any pressure on me to quit drinking, even though she was ten years sober herself.

Our work together was transformational (to say the least!) and she helped me figure out what I truly wanted for myself. It was bigger than alcohol. The root cause of my drinking was perfectionism and a lack of fulfillment in other areas of my life.

One of the main benefits of working with a coach is that a jar simply cannot read its own label. You know how it can be so much easier to see clearly what a friend should do, and harder to know when it comes to yourself? It’s just like that.

It became clear over time through working with Megan that my life is so much easier, more fun and more meaningful without any alcohol. Sobriety is freedom, moderation was a cage made of thoughts. But everyone is different and you must decide for yourself. You have to be ready, and it has to be for you.

I graduated from working with Megan once my goals were met, which happened in June of 2024.

My journey from gray area drinking to alcohol freedom has been hard work, and talking through your issues with another person can be unpleasant at times, but it is 1000% worth it. I don’t believe I would be alcohol-free today if I was still trying to figure out my complex relationship with alcohol by myself.

2. I changed my conscious and subconscious beliefs about alcohol

After working with Megan for a while, and taking lots of breaks from drinking, it became very clear that my alcohol-free days (and especially the days that followed them) were much better than the days I drank. I felt better, I looked better, life was easier, work was easier. I liked myself so much more.. hell, if I’m being honest.. I liked everything more without the negative effects of booze dragging me down.

But on some level, I was still holding onto a deeply rooted belief that alcohol was benefitting my life in some way. For years I had kept moderation on a pedestal - which makes sense because I really enjoyed drinking and I didn’t want to give it up.

I was afraid my life would become boring (the opposite is true), and thought social situations would become a drag (also not remotely true.) What would Christmas be like without wine? How could I enjoy New Years Eve without champagne? (Spoiler alert: holidays are so much more magical and meaningful when you are fully present and never hungover!)

But most of all, I really didn’t want to give up my (fake) security blanket that had always been there for me. Wine is seriously the worst fake friend!

Plus drinking gave me a problem to focus on that took up so much time and space, there wasn’t any room left to address my other problems: like the lack of emotional connection in my relationship with my partner, or the fact that my graphic design career was no longer filling my cup.

Yet.. I knew the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over, hoping for a different result. I had given moderation a hundred tries and I was still stuck. I was finally ready to give sobriety a chance.

And I mean REAL sobriety, not “90% sober,” not “just on special occasions”.. but real, full-on, day in and day out, I-Do-Not-Drink-Alcohol-Ever …sobriety. It was scary, but also exciting. Because I had a strong gut feeling that alcohol was the one thing holding me back from stepping into my full potential and becoming my favorite version of myself. (Spoiler alert: I WAS RIGHT!)

So I changed my goal from moderation to complete freedom from alcohol, and embraced the idea of letting go of drinking once and for all.

My conscious belief had changed, but I still had to reprogram my subconscious. People live in a reality that’s based on their subconscious programming. And my subconsious needed to catch up with my prefrontal cortex.

How did I do this?

Information, education, and inspiration!

I started focusing ALL my spare time on learning about alcohol and addiction, and hunting down badass authors, influencers and thought leaders in the alcohol-free space.

I started following every “Sober Instagram” account I could find, and started listening to sober podcasts.

The podcasts especially were a game changer. I listened to person after person, from all different backgrounds and walks of life, tell their stories about how they struggled with their drinking.. some just a little while others had been full blown alcoholics.. and one thing was always the same: how much BETTER and more meaningful their life is without any alcohol at all. Wow!

I had already read a lot of “Quit Lit” books, but I went to the library and on Amazon for even more.

Then I found an incredibly inspiring book called Euphoric: Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier, More Confident You by Karolina Rzadkowolska (who is now my mentor!!!!) which further solidified my choice.

My deep dive into all things ALCOHOL-FREEDOM, in combination with working with a sober coach, and everything finally clicked into place.

Are you sober curious, thinking about cutting back or even considering quitting drinking? Tell me in the comments!

Rooting for you always,

Coach Gretchen
xx