How I Finally Quit Drinking For Good

It felt like I had tried everything except recovery meetings to change my relationship with alcohol, something I was working on since 2019 when I moved from California to NYC.

Like what? “Quit Lit” books, self-hypnosis, meditation, moderation, tracking my drinks (that just made my anxiety worse), making a million rules for myself (and then breaking them), Naltrexone, acupuncture, and an iPhone app called Reframe… just to name a few.

None of this stuff made any real difference. I would have a good week or two where I stuck to my drinking goals.. then I’d misstep and feel like I was back to square one.

So.. how did I finally quit drinking?

1. I stopped trying to figure it out alone, and got support

My drinking habit was so confusing to me. Sometimes it felt very problematic, other times I felt like a normal casual/social drinker. Usually I could moderate and stick to a drink limit with ease.. other times I just didn’t want to.

I was especially bothered by how much mental space was taken up by worrying about my drinking. And I knew I was using wine as both a social lubricant, and an unhealthy coping mechanism to dull my anxiety. (Ironically, it turns out alcohol was actually causing my anxiety.)

This is NOT the black and white narrative we see in movies about alcoholics and “normies.” I didn’t fit either mold, and I was craving support, but AA seemed too extreme. I knew there were a lot of options out there, and I decided to work with a sober life coach.

My goal when I started working with my coach was to change my relationship with alcohol. I wasn’t sure what that would look like, but I knew I didn’t want to continue drinking the way I was. I would not have guessed at that point that I would eventually become fully sober!

I found an amazing sober life coach named Megan. We worked together weekly for about 2 years. She didn’t put any sort of pressure on me to quit drinking completely, even though she herself was 10 years sober.

Our work together was transformational (to say the least!) and she helped me figure out what I truly wanted for myself. It became clear over time that a life without alcohol is so much easier and more fulfilling for me than moderation could ever be. (But everyone is different, and you must decide for yourself!)

I “graduated” from working with my coach once my goals were met, this year in June!

My healing journey has been work, and working through your issues with another person can be unpleasant at times, but it is 1000% worth it — and I don’t believe I would be alcohol-free today if I was still trying to figure out my complex relationship with alcohol by myself.

2. I changed my conscious and subconscious beliefs about alcohol.

After working with my coach for a while, and taking lots of breaks from drinking, it became very clear that the sober days were much better than the days (and the days after) I drank. I felt better, I looked better, life was easier, work was easier, I liked myself more.. hell, if I’m being honest.. I liked everything more without the negative effects of booze dragging me down.

But on some level, I was still holding onto a deeply rooted belief that alcohol was benefitting my life in some way. For years I had kept moderation on a pedestal; which makes sense because I really enjoyed drinking and I didn’t want to give it up.

I was afraid my life would become boring, that social situations would become a drag. What would Christmas be like without mulled wine? (Spoiler alert: it’s so much more magical and meaningful without alcohol!) But most of all, I really didn’t want to give up my (fake) security blanket that had always been there for me. Wine is seriously the worst fake friend!

Yet.. I knew the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over, hoping for a different result. I had tried moderation and I was still stuck. I was finally ready to give sobriety a chance.

And I mean REAL sobriety, not “90% sober,” not “just on special occasions”.. but real, full-on, day in and day out, I-Do-Not-Drink-Alcohol-Ever …sobriety. It was scary, but also exciting. Because I had a strong gut feeling that alcohol was the one thing holding me back from stepping into my full potential and becoming my favorite version of myself. (Spoiler alert: I WAS RIGHT!)

So I modified my goal from moderation to sobriety, and embraced the idea of letting go of alcohol in my life.

My conscious belief had changed, but I still had to reprogram my subconscious.

How?

Information, education, and inspiration!

I started focusing ALL my spare time on learning about alcohol and addiction, and hunting down badass authors, influencers and thought leaders in the alcohol-free space.

I started following every “Sober Instagram” account I could find, and started listening to sober podcasts.

The podcasts especially were a game changer. I listened to person after person, from all different backgrounds and walks of life, tell their stories about how they struggled with their drinking.. some just a little while others had been full blown alcoholics.. and one thing was always the same: how much BETTER and more meaningful their life is without any alcohol at all. Wow!

I had already read a lot of “Quit Lit” books, but I went to the library and on Amazon for even more.

Then I found an incredibly inspiring book called Euphoric: Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier, More Confident You by Karolina Rzadkowolska (who is now my mentor!!!!) which further solidified my choice.

My deep dive into all things SOBRIETY, in combination with working with a sober coach, and everything finally clicked into place.

Are you sober curious, thinking about cutting back or even considering quitting drinking? Tell me in the comments!

Rooting for you always,

Gretchen