How to Reward Yourself Without a Drink
For most of my adult life, I used alcohol as a reward.
A productive, healthy week? I’d treat myself to a bottle of wine on Friday evening. Landed a new client for my graphic design business? Time to “cue the bubbly!”
This is SO normalized—we have been using alcohol to celebrate for centuries. And since we’ve collectively embraced the belief that alcohol helps us relax, it’s no wonder a fancy cocktail or glass of champagne has become the go-to reward for many people, on many occasions. I was absolutely one of them!
So, it’s no surprise that when I became sober curious, I was left with a pretty significant dilemma: how do I reward myself, without a drink?
It didn’t take me very long to figure out some really fun solutions to this, but first, let me offer you a piece of advice.
You will need to reframe alcohol, and stop thinking of it as a reward.
Right now I bet you are attaching a lot of meaning to alcohol… perhaps you think of it as something very special, something worthy of desire. (There is no such thing as deprivation without desire!) Maybe you’re even putting it on a pedestal. I did this for years! It’s part of what kept me stuck in the cycle of gray area drinking for so long.
In order to become alcohol-free without deprivation, I had to decide that I would no longer allow marketing, advertising and mainstream culture to dictate my perception of alcohol. I have deglamorized it, and now I am able to see it objectively for what it truly is: a toxic and addictive fermented beverage in a glass. I am not here to vilify alcohol, those are just facts.
Type alcohol into Wikipedia.com and you’ll find this..
“Alcohol, sometimes referred to by the chemical name ethanol, is one of the most widely used and abused psychoactive drugs in the world and falls under the depressant category. Alcohol is a toxic, psychoactive, dependence-producing, and carcinogenic substance. In 2023, the WHO declared that there is "no safe amount" of alcohol consumption without health risks.”
Huh. That sounds pretty awful, doesn’t it? It certainly doesn’t sound like something you would want to “reward” yourself with.
And that’s just the beginning.. I’m not even going to touch on the way regular drinking crushes your self-esteem, creates chronic anxiety and keeps you from striving for your biggest goals.
But friend, I get it. Mindset shifts like this one are BIG and they do not happen overnight. If you’re sober-curious and still drinking, that’s ok! I’m really proud of you, because if you are reading this blog post, that means you have already began to question how alcohol fits into your life. Which puts you steps ahead of so many drinkers.
It took me about five years, a lot of Quit Lit books, and countless podcast episodes to completely change my own mind about alcohol.
Because believe me, I LOVED drinking. (…until I didn’t!) Now let’s get to the fun part.
Here are 10 of my favorite ways to reward yourself without an alcoholic beverage!
I realize these suggestions cost money. And everything is hella expensive these days! Therefore I’m including a budget-friendly alternative with each idea. Also, alcohol isn’t cheap! If you are able to spend money on alcohol as a reward, you could consider these ideas instead.
#1 A trip to the nail salon
What’s more relaxing than a spa pedicure with a hot stone foot massage and a good podcast? Changing your relationship with alcohol may trigger a rollercoaster of emotions, so anything that makes you feel more confident and relaxed is a good thing. I always feel 10% hotter and more put together with painted toenails and some fake nails. :)
Budget-friendly option: Paint your nails at home, or do an at-home version of a spa pedicure. All you need is a bathtub or foot soaking tub, a pumice stone and some polish.
#2 Book a facial, massage, or other beauty service
If nails aren’t your thing, there are plenty of other options to pamper yourself. With the added benefit of looking amazing afterwards! I love getting a facial, massage, lash extensions, Botox, etc.
Pro tip: It can be tempting to use Groupon to get a discount, but it’s much better for the small business if you call them directly and ask them to match the Groupon price. They will always say yes!
Budget friendly option: Take a hot bath, or do a skincare routine at home. I love Dr. Dennis Gross’ skincare products and when I do a full routine, it takes me about 30 minutes. But you can also buy inexpensive skincare goodies—like sheet masks, moisturizers and serums—at CVS, Marshalls, and TJ Maxx.
If you’re in the early days of sobriety or cutting back and struggling with the “witching hour” (this refers to the time of day you would usually pour a drink out of habit), a lengthy skincare routine can be extra helpful, because you can use it as a distraction. You should know that most urges go away after about 20 minutes. Start your new skincare routine, and see if that urge hasn’t subsided by the time you’re finished.
#3 Take yourself out to eat
*If being at a restaurant triggers you to drink, pass on this one! I’ve been there, but now it isn’t even something that crosses my mind. Don’t worry, you will not have to avoid restaurants forever.
I love going out to eat alone. When you don’t drink , it’s actually much easier to focus on savoring the food. Also, many restaurants now offer lovely mocktails, and some even have alcohol-free beer and wine. Bring a book if you feel more comfortable, but try to avoid doom-scrolling on your phone. Being present is part of the experience!
Budget-friendly option: Find a new recipe on Pinterest, and cook yourself a special meal at home. Or make it even more special by cooking a meal for a friend! Just make sure they know and are supportive of the fact that you won’t be drinking.
#4 Go see a movie
The movie theatre can be a great way to relax for a couple hours and take your mind off things. Make it extra special with popcorn and candy!
Budget-friendly option: Stream a movie at home, or rewatch a movie you love. I will never get tired of watching A Star is Born or Bohemian Rhapsody.
#5 Treat yourself to a new book
Getting lost in a juicy novel is a great way to practice being present and transport yourself to a different place and time. My favorite sub-genre of fiction is mystery/thriller. (Check out Ruth Ware or Liv Constantine and thank me later!)
If you don’t have a book at home that you’re excited to read, take a trip to the library or find a cute local bookstore. Most paperback books cost about the same as ONE cocktail these days… but the entertainment from the book will last a whole lot longer than the 20 minutes you’ll enjoy that drink!
Reading is also a great distraction during the “witching hour” I mentioned above!
This reminds me of something my therapist told me. When we drink regularly, we get used to “the drama.” For some people, this could mean actual drama created by poor decisions they made while drunk. But for others, like myself, she was referring to the internal drama caused by the vicious cycle of drinking, experiencing anxiety, feeling guilt and shame, and then repeating the cycle. For some people, myself included, the calm, drama-free days of early sobriety can feel uncomfortable because “the drama” is missing.
Why do I bring this up? The mystery/thriller fiction books I love to read are FULL OF DRAMA!! There are twists and turns, and at times I even notice my heart rate increase or adrenaline surge. What a fun way to get a little “good drama” in your life, without hurting yourself or anyone else. Reading is awesome.
Budget-friendly option: The library
#6 Set aside some time to enjoy a hobby
If you recently quit drinking, you may feel like all of a sudden you have way too much spare time, and idle hands. This can be very triggering for some people! I can relate, because boredom used to be one of my biggest triggers too.
Here’s the good news: this feeling doesn’t last for very long. You just have to figure out what you actually enjoy doing, without the false dopamine spike that alcohol creates. If you already have hobbies you love to do (or used to love to do), now is the perfect time to revisit them.
Nothing coming to mind? Think back to what you loved to do when you were a kid, or a teenager. Before you ever tasted your first sip of alcohol. If you’re anything like me, you may find some answers there!
Here’s something to watch out for though: If you got used to doing your favorite hobbies or pastimes as an adult WHILE drinking, you are going to have to relearn to enjoy them sober. Don’t worry, this isn’t as hard as it sounds.
I got great advice from someone in a sober online forum. They said to keep the hobby, but change it just enough so that it feels like a new experience. That way, it won’t feel like something (alcohol/dopamine) is missing. For example, if you love to paint but got used to painting with a buzz (me), switch your medium from watercolor to acrylic. If you got used to drinking while practicing piano (also me), why not try your hand at guitar? Or it could even be as simple as learning a new song.
If none of that resonates with you, go to Michaels!! I fucking love Michaels. These stores have every type of hobby and craft under the sun. If you can’t find something fun you want to do at Michaels, I’m convinced you aren’t human.
Budget-friendly option: A hobby can be anything you enjoy . Get creative! Go for a walk and try to identify various types of flowers or animals you see. Pick up some crayons and a coloring book at the 99 cent store. Purchase an inexpensive journal and try your hand at some poetry. The sky is the limit! Don’t let your budget hold you back from finding things you love to do sober.
#7 Buy Yourself Flowers
Buying yourself flowers is one of the easiest acts of self-love I can think of. But did you know that having fresh flowers in your home may improve your mood, and even make you more productive? Do some research on this if you don’t believe me!
Budget-friendly option: Trader Joes has gorgeous flowers that change seasonally, at a fraction of the cost of a florist or other grocery store. Or go outside and pick some wildflowers.. just don’t piss off your neighbors!
#8 Gift Yourself Something Special
What better way to reward yourself than with a gift? And unlike a beverage, you will actually get to enjoy it for more than 20 minutes.
A gift can be whatever you want, like a new pair of boots, or a fabulous throw pillow you’ve had your eye on. It really doesn’t matter, as long as it’s something YOU want!
If you track your consecutive alcohol-free days like I do, I highly recommend gifting yourself a small prize or token for your sobriety milestones. When I quit drinking in March, at the end of each week that I completed sober, I gifted myself a Beanie Baby keychain like this one. My therapist told me I was (unknowingly) nurturing my inner child with this ritual.
Budget-friendly option: Even when you give a gift to yourself, it’s the thought that counts. Don’t sleep on clearance isles at discount stores, treasure-hunt your local GoodWill stores, or hit up some garage sales on the weekend!
#9 Try out new Mocktails.. or alcohol-free beer or wine!
*Some people in recovery find NA (non-alcoholic) beverages that imitate alcoholic drinks to be triggering, so if you’re worried that may be the case for you, please skip this idea.
Personally, I have found replacement adult beverages to be incredibly helpful on my journey to alcohol freedom. I got to keep the ritual but ditch the negative cycle and self-sabotage. That’s a huge win!
The alcohol-free beers taste exactly like the real thing. They’re also a great way to camouflage yourself as a drinker in social settings if you don’t want to be bothered with questions about why you aren’t drinking, or whatever.
I love a canned mocktail, particularly these by FREE AF. This brand is my favorite because their beverages contain an ingredient called AFTERGLOW, a natural botanical extract that mimics the pleasant warmth of drinking alcohol – without the alcohol. What will they think of next!?!
If you’re like me, wine is the most difficult goodbye. Because I have some serious emotional attachments to fermented grape juice. You too? The good news is… I still enjoy a glass of wine now and then. It just doesn’t contain ethanol.
No, it’s not quite the same and I’m not going to pretend it is. But my alcohol-free life, freedom from chronic anxiety, and everything else that comes with being sober.. is SO worth the tradeoff. Living in alignment tastes even better than the best red wine on earth. (Or at least the ones I’ve had!)
Having said that, here’s my take on NA wine. Alcohol-removed wines are MUCH better than the wine-like concoctions made out of teas or juices. They are packaged the same (in wine bottles) so you want to look for “Alcohol-Removed” on the label.
The best alcohol-removed wines I’ve found have been rosé’s and sparkling rosé’s. I have 4 bottles of Wolffer Estate’s “Spring in a Bottle” in my basement, saving them for the holidays with my family. It tastes exactly like their famous “Summer in a Bottle” rosé, minus the alcohol aftertaste.
I haven’t found a red that really hits the spot YET, but the Ariel Cabernet Sauvignon is pretty good, as long as you’re okay with some fruitiness.
Here’s a link to shop more of my favorite pre-made alcohol-free drinks.
Are you into fancy cocktails and enjoy DIY? Pinterest is my favorite place to discover and collect ideas for projects, recipes and more. Find a mocktail recipe and become a sober mixologist!
Budget-friendly option: I love to make a spritzer with La Croix (there are so many flavors, coconut is amazing for this) with a splash of fruit juice or Kombucha. Make it feel extra fancy by serving it in a wine glass or champagne flute and adding a fruit garnish! This is cheaper than the pre-made canned cocktails, but just as fun.
#10 Eat a Sweet Treat
*If you struggle with disordered eating or have a problematic relationship with food, please skip this one.
Did you know you can buy yourself a birthday cake at the grocery store and have a slice at home anytime you like? Nobody checks! Lol!
I saved this one for last, but for anyone who is newly sober, IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW. Sugar cravings in early sobriety are not a myth. And they do not just come after heavy, alcohol-dependent drinkers.
I was a gray-area drinker. I didn’t drink every day, and towards the end of my “drinking career,” I was taking weeks off from alcohol at a time. And since I didn’t have a sweet tooth AT ALL before I quit alcohol, I did NOT expect to be someone who would experience sugar cravings, and yet… here we are.
I don’t fight my sugar cravings though. I indulge them for the most part, because I have already done such a HUGE positive thing for my health and brain by breaking up with alcohol. Yes, I realize sugar is also bad for you, but not on the same level as ethanol. Plus I am able to moderate with sugar, and I’ve never once eaten a slice of cake and then done something embarrassing or regrettable.
I do plan to cut back on sugar, eventually. But for now? Bring on the gummy bears, ice cream sundaes and .. all the birthday cakes. :)
Budget-friendly option: Opt for a candy bar, or pick up a box of cake batter and frosting and make yourself cupcakes!
Conclusion
If you’re newly sober (or sober-curious) and all of these ideas sound fucking lame when you compare them to the thought of drinking.. trust me, I get it. I get it because I was there, not long ago.
Losing interest in other activities is a sign of addiction. The good news is, this is reversible. But it takes time for your brain to heal and form new neuropathways. If you’re serious about changing your relationship with alcohol, you have to give it time.
Remind yourself as often as possible what alcohol ACTUALLY is. And then consider if that’s really how you want to reward yourself for doing something you’re proud of.. even if that something is just getting through a long day.
Which one of these ideas are you excited to try? Leave a comment below and let me know! If you found this blog post valuable, make sure to sign up for my email newsletter. It’s chock full of tips and resources for the sober-curious.
Rooting for you always,
Gretchen
I’m Gretchen Kamp.
I’m an 5X ICF-Certified Personal Development Coach, specializing in mindset, success and alcohol-freedom. I went from unfulfilled, anxious and using wine to cope with life’s challenges… to confident, sober, aligned and IN LOVE with life in full HD.
The progress I’ve made has completely transformed my life. Now I’m sharing my story and offering one-on-one coaching to help other intentional high performers (like you!) step into the dream version of themselves.